The Art of Giving ~ How to Cultivate Social Media Relationships

If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence. ~ Lao Tzu

Building relationships is what social media is all about. That’s what sets social media apart from traditional one-way forms of information-sharing and marketing, handed down from on high by the media gods. In social media our goal is to cultivate relationships organically, to grow them over time through open and honest exchange, meaningful two-way conversation and sharing value. Social media mirrors how we interact in the offline, real world and as such, building relationships in social media follows the same principles as building relationships in real life. Social media is more than just promotion. We need to interact with others because we’re human.

By our very nature, humans have a fundamental need to socialise and we thrive in social groups, following a leader until we are confident and strong enough to forge new groups and go out on our own. It’s a survival instinct – forming social groups allows us the safety and security we could not enjoy alone. In real life, social groups have allowed us to live longer, more fulfilled lives, and the role of the leader is to support and protect, to educate and mentor. The more value a leader can provide their followers, the more followers the leader will accrue.

In social media, very similar principles are in action. It is so important for us to come from a place of relationship building to succeed in social media. So rather than focussing on how to sell your product, how to make money, or how to recruit people into your business; think about what you can offer people. You have to be sociable and personally interact with people before you win their trust and friendship.

It’s normal in relationships that there’s give and take. So there should be in social media. You can’t expect to be embraced by the social media community without offering something of value. Offering more than just your promotional message builds successful relationships with other people and businesses and builds a loyal following. When you are communicating with your followers, though, the skew should be very much towards giving and a lot less on taking. People who are in “take, take, take” mode and are always self-focussed keep others at bay in both real life and the world of social media.

Aim to have at least 80% – or even 90% – of your content focussed on giving to people, and only 20% or less in taking, or asking for something from your followers. They will be much more responsive when you do ask for something in return as they will trust you and feel a more genuine, authentic relationship with you. When you offer people something, when you give to them, there is a natural inclination for people to give back to you. We all know the old adages that what you give out comes back to you, or that you reap what you sow – well take note, these apply as much in online relationships as they do in the real world. Learn to give without expecting or asking for anything in return.

Here are my Top 5 suggestions for ways you can give to your followers and help build great long-lasting relationships:

1. Provide value – share content and information that offers people a way to improve their lives or their businesses in any way possible. Educate, enlighten, entertain, empower, enhance, engage and exchange. Pass on your knowledge – when you learn something, pass it on to others so that they can learn from your experience.

2. Interact and get involved – visit other people’s blogs and websites, make comments, send direct messages, retweet, create links and promote other people’s sites on social media sites like Facebook, Digg, Stumble Upon, LinkedIn and others. Point people towards resources, ideas and strategies that have helped you. Set aside time to network with other people in your industry. Become both a friend and a supporter. Remember – communication is a two-way street.

3. Listen and respond – take notice of comments and questions asked by your subscribers and be sure to respond to them all. Ask questions and ask for advice from your followers. This empowers them and keeps them engaged. But make sure you listen to what they say and be prepared to implement some of their suggestions.

4. Be genuinely grateful and thank people – when someone does something for you, always thank them and recognise their support in any way you can to create powerful reinforcement for continued positive action. Share their material, create links to their work, retweet their message and spread the word.

5. Keep it real, be authentic and enjoy yourself – when you stay authentic and true to who you are, you are offering a part of yourself to others. Let your true self shine through and share some of your personality; you’ll then engender trust from your subscribers. Most of all, enjoy what you do and allow your enthusiasm to rub off on others.

We’d love to hear your ideas about ways you give to others through social media so that we can spread the word about YOU. Please leave us a comment…

Dedicated to your success,